This interview is with Ashley E. Poklar, Clinical Director at Sentinel Foundation.

Ashley E. Poklar, Clinical Director, Sentinel Foundation

Welcome, Ashley! Could you tell our readers a bit about yourself and your journey to becoming a child and adolescent psychologist?

I am a mother, an educator, and a child and adolescent psychologist. I started my career as a special education teacher, working in alternative high schools with the 'bad kids.' The reality was, they were kids who had significant traumas. When I had my oldest daughter, I wasn't sure I could be the parent I wanted to be and the teacher I needed to be, so I went back to school for a master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I did my internship in the juvenile detention center (where I had some of my old students), and I LOVED it! What I did not love was the fact I couldn't advocate for my clients in the ways I needed to because, as my supervisor put it, I 'didn't have the right letters' after my name. As a result, I enrolled in a Counseling Psychology doctoral program. I have cultivated my career path in such a way that I was able to get an insider's look into the various systems at play in a child's life and have used that information to inform my work. As a professor, I focus on the real-world application of the theories students read. As a clinician, I work to support those who care for, and about, youth in need, particularly those who have experienced (or are at high risk of experiencing) sexual exploitation and/or trafficking.

Your work at Sentinel Foundation, combating child sexual exploitation and trafficking, must be incredibly challenging yet rewarding. How has this experience shaped your approach to counseling and supporting families?

My work at Sentinel Foundation has reinforced my belief in the need to engage entire systems and communities in the support of young people. In some ways, I have become more jaded, often looking for the underlying trauma individuals and families may have experienced. In other ways, I have become less jaded, valuing the wisdom of community and family, recognizing that healing occurs in a variety of ways and acknowledging that my clients are so much more than the 'simple' label of victim or survivor.

You mentioned using bibliotherapy to help children develop empathy. Can you share a specific example of a book that resonated with a child and how it helped them understand another person's perspective?

One book I often use with kids is 'In My Heart' by Jo Witek. This book explores how feelings show up in different ways, and the illustrations lend themselves well to the exploration of how facial expressions and body language are used to express our own, and identify others', emotions. Often, I will have a child look at the pictures with me before reading the words and task them with telling me how they think the character is feeling and why. We then act out how they, themselves, and their family members or friends, look and act when they feel certain feelings. We can then compare and contrast, identifying similarities and differences in emotional expression.

Many parents struggle with setting healthy boundaries around technology use. Beyond talking to kids about online safety, what's one practical tip you give parents to establish healthy tech habits in their own lives, modeling responsible digital citizenship for their children?

Modeling responsible digital citizenship may be even more effective than simply talking to kids about online safety. A practical tip that I often give parents is to have a tech-free time in their home that everyone engages in, including parents. For many families, this time falls during dinner and/or after a certain hour. If parents are willing to put their phones down and engage with their children, their children will be more likely to do the same.

You emphasized the importance of parents managing their own well-being to support their children effectively. What are some self-care strategies you recommend for parents, especially those dealing with the added stress of a child facing challenges?

When parenting children who are facing difficulties, parents face a great deal of stress, both created by the situation and by their own internal, and society's often external, commentary on the situation. Take the time to check in with yourself. What are you feeling? How are you interacting? If you are feeling upset, it is likely not the best time to interact with your child about challenging topics. Take the time to engage in activities or with people that are meaningful to you. Remind yourself that you, your child, and your relationship, are more than just this particular challenge or the impact it is currently having.

In your experience, how can parents and therapists work together most effectively to support a child's mental health? What does a successful parent-therapist partnership look like?

A successful parent-therapist partnership is exactly that—a partnership. One in which both the parent(s) and the therapist have a shared goal: the well-being of the child. This looks like regular check-ins with the parent, shared language when engaging with the child, and a willingness to discuss openly and honestly about what is, and is not, working.

You highlighted the importance of patient-centered care and the impact of your training program at Sentinel Foundation. How can therapists ensure they are creating a safe and welcoming space for children and adolescents to open up?

I find that children and adolescents can tell when an adult is being genuine with them. To create a space where young people feel like they can be honest, we as adults need to model honesty in how we interact. Being calm and consistent goes a long way in creating a space where young people know what to expect from you. If they know what to expect, they are more likely to open up (because they know how you will likely respond to even the 'tough' topics).

Trauma can significantly impact a child's development. What advice would you give parents who are seeking to support their child through a traumatic experience?

Take the time to listen to your child. Each child experiences trauma differently, and their reactions differ as a result. You likely won't fully understand their experience, but letting them tell you how they feel and what they think without challenging them will aid in the healing process. When you aren't sure, seek out additional information. There are countless books and articles about the impact of trauma on the developing brain; seek those resources out, or sign up for a consultation with a psychologist or counselor who specializes in trauma, to learn more.

Looking ahead, what are your hopes for the future of child and adolescent mental health care, and what role do you see parents playing in that future?

My greatest hope is that schools and parents are equipped with the knowledge and skills to support the children and adolescents in their care. True well-being in youth will not occur if their parents are not able to grow and heal alongside them.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge and expertise. Is there anything else you'd like to add?

In my experience, the vast majority of parents are truly doing the best they can with what they know. As a society, we need to spend less time blaming and more time strengthening the individuals and institutions that care for, and about, our youth.