How Do You Build Trust With Clients in their First Session?
Building trust with clients in their first therapy session is crucial for effective treatment. This article explores proven strategies, drawing on insights from experienced therapists and counseling experts. From co-regulating the nervous system to practicing active listening, discover key techniques that foster a safe and transparent environment for clients.
- Co-Regulate the Nervous System for Safety
- Create Transparency and Normalize Client Experiences
- Foster Safety Through Curiosity and Collaboration
- Build Trust with Transparency and Attunement
- Practice Active Listening and Emotional Presence
- Be Authentic and Genuinely Compassionate
- Model Authenticity and Emotional Presence
- Allow Clients to Set Their Own Pace
- Offer Free Consultation to Establish Fit
Co-Regulate the Nervous System for Safety
One Strategy to Build Trust in a First Therapy Session: Co-Regulating the Nervous System, Not Managing the Persona
In the first session, my focus isn't on earning trust through words; it's on helping the client's nervous system settle enough to feel safe.
For many clients, especially those with trauma histories, emotional suppression, or a deep fear of being perceived as "too much," trust isn't something they grant intellectually. It's something their system allows once co-regulation is established.
I deliberately attune to their physiological cues: breath rhythm, micro-expressions, shifts in tone, pace, and posture. I slow down my own voice, soften eye contact, and ground through posture and breath, not to lead, but to offer a regulated presence their system can anchor to.
Co-regulation also means:
* Naming protective strategies without labeling them as resistance
* Offering consent-based pacing ("Does it feel okay to pause here, or keep going?")
* Staying present even when silence or disconnection arises, especially then
It's less about delivering a perfectly structured intake and more about being the nervous system they don't yet know how to be for themselves. When that's felt, even briefly, trust begins to form.
Create Transparency and Normalize Client Experiences
One strategy I use to build trust in the first session is to be transparent about the therapy process right away. I normalize feeling nervous or unsure, and I let clients know that we'll go at their pace; they're not expected to "perform" in therapy. I also make space for humor and humanness early on because I believe connection comes from authenticity, not perfection. I often share that my goal isn't to fix them, but to walk alongside them as we untangle the hard stuff together. Especially when working with trauma, anxiety, or relational wounds, creating a felt sense of safety matters just as much as what we talk about. I remind them that they can ask questions at any point and that we'll continuously check in about what feels supportive for them.
Foster Safety Through Curiosity and Collaboration
One core strategy I use to build trust in the first therapy session is to create a sense of safety through curiosity, collaboration, and pacing. I often start by letting clients know, "This space is yours--we don't have to dive into anything heavy unless you want to. We're just getting to know each other today." That small statement can be incredibly regulating.
Rather than jumping into structured assessments, I focus on being human and present--checking in regularly with questions like, "Is this okay to talk about?" or "What's it like to share that with me right now?" This not only invites consent into the room but helps the client begin to trust their own internal cues.
Being trauma-informed also means putting my ego in the parking lot. I stay open to feedback, willing to pivot if something feels off. If a client seems withdrawn or hesitant, I name it gently: "I'm noticing this might feel a little uncomfortable--would it feel helpful to shift gears or take a pause?" This models emotional safety and reinforces that we're in this together.
I often bring in soft structure through co-created rituals or grounding practices--like taking a breath together at the start or offering a "check-in menu" of feelings to choose from. These small moments of choice and voice help restore a sense of agency, especially for clients with trauma histories.
Ultimately, trust is not built by being impressive--it's built by being attuned, flexible, and deeply respectful of where the client is starting from.
Build Trust with Transparency and Attunement
One strategy I consistently use to build trust with new clients in their first session is creating safety through transparency and attunement.
As a psychotherapist, I know the therapeutic relationship is foundational to effective work, and that begins with how we show up in the very first session. I start by being clear about what clients can expect from the session—how long it could potentially last, what topics we might explore, and that they are in control of what they choose to share. This helps reduce anxiety around the unknown.
Then, I focus on attunement—really tuning into their verbal and nonverbal cues, pacing with them, and offering validation without rushing into "fix-it" mode. Even subtle things, like allowing pauses or mirroring their language, help communicate that I'm truly present.
By prioritizing emotional safety, respect, and transparency, clients begin to feel that they are not being judged, pressured, or analyzed—they're being understood. And that sets the tone for a trusting, collaborative relationship moving forward.
Practice Active Listening and Emotional Presence
For many clients, the first therapy session can feel overwhelming. They may wonder: Will this person understand me? Can I really talk about the things I've kept hidden? I know that before any real healing can begin, trust must be established -- and that foundation often starts within the very first meeting.
One of the most important strategies I use is active listening. I focus not just on what my clients are saying, but on how they are feeling underneath their words. People are unlikely to let their guard down if we're on two different emotional pages. By helping clients feel truly heard and understood, I create a space where safety can start to build.
I also remind myself that trust takes time. It's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to solve everything quickly, but therapy doesn't work that way -- especially when we're dealing with patterns of coping and survival that have been in place for years, sometimes decades. I loosen my expectations for that first session and approach the process with patience, knowing that trust is something that unfolds naturally over time.
Another thing I stay mindful of is how I'm connecting with the client. Am I responding to their emotional cues? Am I noticing the hesitation, the fear, the subtle signs of anxiety? Am I seeing beyond their words? At the same time, I check in with myself: Am I unintentionally dominating the conversation? If I catch myself doing so, I take a step back and refocus on being a supportive presence, staying within the healthy boundaries that foster a strong therapeutic relationship.
Building trust isn't about a single moment -- it's about a series of small, intentional choices: to listen deeply, to be patient, to see the human being behind the story. When done with care, that trust becomes the foundation for real, meaningful change.
Be Authentic and Genuinely Compassionate
I was watching a movie a while ago called '50/50'. Anna Kendrick plays a fresh-out-of-college therapist, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a man battling cancer, one of her first official patients. In one scene, she reaches out to touch his arm because - in class - she was taught that making physical contact in this way with a patient is a good way to build rapport, create a connection, and establish trust.
Of course, because it wasn't a genuine act, it came across as awkward and really just created even more distance and distrust. Yes, physical contact is obviously something that can help to establish a connection between people as a general rule, but only if it happens naturally, in the moment, as an authentic act, reacting appropriately to the tone and energy of the situation.
I think therapists really need to learn this lesson. After years studying the craft intellectually, engrossed in the academic side of this work, it's important to remember that - at the end of the day - this is about creating real, human connections, and the best thing that you can do is to show up compassionate, caring, and authentic.
There's an expression in music that 'you learn the theory so that you can never use it'. You have to study and practice all of the scales, but when it comes time to write music, you have to remember that it's an art, not a science. And I think the same goes for therapy. We have to remember that the science, the labels, the diagnoses, the 'standard tricks and techniques', etc., are just one side of this.
If you want to build trust, then be trustworthy. Be present. Be real. And put your patient's well-being over and above your paycheck: Meaning, don't be fake just to keep a client.
It's important to remember that our patients are looking for someone they can genuinely connect with and it's crucial that they find the right person, and that person may or may not be you. So, if you're using tricks that you learn on the internet to artificially create rapport, then you're not being present and you're not giving you or the patient the opportunity to really find out if this is a good fit.
If you know your stuff and if you're genuinely trustworthy and compassionate, then you don't need any tips on how to fake that and you'll know what to do and say in the moment. And if you're not, then you should work on all of that instead of trying to learn how to fake it.
Model Authenticity and Emotional Presence
As a male therapist, one strategy I use to build trust in the first session is to model authenticity and emotional presence. I don't rush into problem-solving or dig too deep too fast; instead, I slow it down and meet the client where they are. I acknowledge how difficult it can be to open up to a stranger, especially for men who've been taught to keep things in or solve problems on their own.
I'll often say something like, "You don't need to prove anything here—this space is yours, and we go at your pace." That small moment of permission can help clients start to feel safe, seen, and in control of their own process.
Allow Clients to Set Their Own Pace
The most common strategy I use is letting clients know that I understand it takes time for trust to build. I assure them that I move slowly and allow them to set the pace initially. I remind them that I am a stranger and don't expect them to share everything with me during the first few sessions. I hope this also role models healthy boundary setting that they can apply to other relationships in their lives.
Offer Free Consultation to Establish Fit
People don't turn to remedial hypnosis - hypnotherapy without the trance element - as a first choice of therapy. They will have been to their doctor as a first port of call and may well have tried CBT as a result. So, generally, my clients will have experienced some type of therapeutic intervention.
My program always starts with a free consultation. I believe it is worth an hour of my time to listen to this person, to understand what changes they want to make to their lives - and what impact these changes will mean to them - and to educate them as to how remedial hypnosis works.
About 10-15% of people don't respond to hypnotic suggestion, whether they are awake or in a trance, so the initial consultation is instrumental in checking this.
How do I do this? I ask their subconscious mind to simply move one of their fingers to confirm that it's both able and willing to communicate. The client's reaction to their finger lifting up without them consciously making that movement is powerful - I hear the word 'weird' in most consultations! If it doesn't happen, as mentioned, in about 10-15% of people, then at a minimum they will be able to discount this as a possible option at no cost. They will, on the other hand, have learned how and why the mind works the way it does.
I think my willingness to give my time and expertise to see if we are a good fit goes a long way to building trust.
